Greetings to all of you who have been waiting for my feline musings -- and my apologies for making you wait so long to hear from me again. You see, winter has just hung and hung on here in my corner of Kentucky, and I've been in virtual hibernation. But the sun is shining again, and I simply must tell you about the Cat Next Door.
She's young, not quite a year old, and therefore still full of the misguided enthusiasm of youth. She has yet to understand that cats, unlike dogs, are dignified creatures. It aids us all to appear inscrutable and in charge lest the humans around us assume they are in control.
Now, don't get me wrong. I had moments in my younger days when I made a fool of myself in front of the people who are responsible for taking care of me. They still speak with laughter in their voice of me hunting down a plastic grocery bag and carrying through the house, growling at anyone who came near.
As I said, it was in my much younger days. Now I confine my involvement with grocery bags to the brown paper kind. They provide an excellent hiding place from which to jump out and bite ankles.
But back to the Cat Next Door.
If she's outside, the silly thing makes a beeline for Maggie, the dog with whom I'm forced to share a house, whenever Cat takes Maggie out in the morning. I watch in morbid fascination as the Cat Next Door runs up and rubs against the dog, as if they were the best of friends. Really. Does she have no shame?
Now I'm all for tree climbing, which the Cat Next Door does, and for terrorizing small children with a growl and a swish of a paw, which she has yet to master.
But is the Cat Next Door content to simply climb into a tree and remain there? Of course not.
She jumps on the roof, makes her way to the front of the house and – get ready for this – grooms herself in full view of anyone passing by.
I mean, really now. Even at her young age, she should know some things are done best in private.
And in case you think I exaggerate, take a look:
Ah, well, I must retire now and sit on top of the printer in Cat's office. Today, her alter ego, Cammie Eicher, is working on a new book at the computer, and she needs me to offer advice.
Oh, by the way, Cammie's marvelous book, "Out of the Shadows," the first in her vampire Shadow Ancient series, is now out in print! Check it out on Amazon or at Resplendence Publishing's website.