Wednesday, March 2, 2011

And now there are two

As my Faithful Readers know, I share my abode with Cat Shaffer, my favorite writer of all time, and an overgrown mutt I prefer to call Big Stupid (see below). Now Cat, who is so misguided, tells everyone that Big Stupid is actually a great big Sheltie, and her name is Maggie.

Since Big Stupid was here before me, I assume that in a moment of madness, Cat decided to get a dog and, when her senses returned, came for me. Although I prefer she not hold me or spout that "pretty kitty" nonsense at me, I will allow her to pet me since she rescued me from a cage at the animal shelter when I was just a wee kitten.

Side note here: At least the shelter did one thing right. They kept the dogs on one side of the building and us cats on the other. Although, with their brute force, the canines might have helped us with the escape we had planned. Hmmmm ...

Anyway, Cat's People live beside us. Her girl and her girl's girls have three cats, which I think is absolutely marvelous, even if they get to run around outside and I don't. I mean, the more cats, the better, right?

To my shock and horror, I looked out my favorite window and saw something big, black and noisy tied to the porch at her People's house. Although I rarely lower myself to listen to a thing Cat says, I paid attention for a time and discovered the big, black, noisy thing is called a Bella.

And it's a dog.

Yes, another dog. A black lab, I believe.

I suppose I can endure its yaps and barks if it stays over there. But one of Cat's People brought into my house to give it a bath. Personally, I can't see the reason for a bath. If it would just learn to groom itself like decent cats do, it would be far better off.

Anyway, they took the Bella thing upstairs. I heard water run. I heard a Girl shout something about being all wet and then the Bella came running downstairs, shaking water everywhere. Let me tell you, it was almost more than a civilized feline can endure, hearing loud shouts of "No, Bella! Stop, Bella! Get outside, Bella!" echoing through my house.

I find it of great interest that the Girl People did this while Cat was away. As soon as she walked in a short time time, I tried to tell her about the horror I was forced to endure. I used my most cultivated yowl to inform her about the stink of dog shampoo lingering upstairs, the damp towels on the bathroom floor where I like to lay in the sunshine and their audacity in using our facilities to bathe a Bella.

Poor, feeble-minded Cat. She refused to listen to a word I said. And to add insult to injury, she actually petted me on the head and said, "Poor baby. Did you miss Mommy?"

Oops, I hear her coming up the steps, so I must abandon her computer and sneak back on top of the printer, one of my favorite places to sleep.

Oh, and in case you didn't know, you can now buy Cat's most marvelous romantic suspense, "No Safe Place" from Turquoise Morning Press, as an e-book or in print. Be generous and buy one for yourself and one for a friend. Maybe the royalties will enable her to buy me a better band of cat food!


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